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-பாரதி

17.12.22

’ஊர்மிளை’ சிறுகதையின் ஆங்கில மொழியாக்கம்

2012 மே 13 தினமணி கதிரில் வெளிவந்த என் 'ஊர்மிளை’ சிறுகதையைப் பேராசிரியரும் எழுத்தாளருமான வி காதம்பரி அவர்கள் ஆங்கிலத்தில் மொழிபெயர்த்துள்ளார்கள். மைஸூரிலுள்ள த்வ்ன்ய லோகாவிலிருந்து வெளிவரும் ’சரசா’[  ] இதழில் அது வெளி வந்திருக்கிறது. காதம்பரி அவர்களுக்கும், ’சரசா’ இதழுக்கும் நன்றி.

ஊர்மிளை- தமிழில்

 ’ஊர்மிளை’ சிறுகதையின் ஆங்கில மொழியாக்கம்

URMILA

(M.A.Susila, Dinamani Kathir, 13.5.2012) 

Translated by V.Kadambari

 

The chariot was standing in the porch of the mansion ready to leave at an hour when it had not dawned yet and darkness still lingered. Grim faced Lakshmanan was standing next to it waiting for Sita.

 

“ As he was in deep sleep,  I waited for a while for him to wake up! But he has not yet woken up…the whole of yesterday he was thoughtful and worried about something. So I  didn’t have the heart to wake him up forcefully to take leave. What is there …he had bid me farewell yesterday evening itself isn’t it? Come let’s go…” Sita chirped away as she advanced.

 

She was overcome by unalloyed joy about the freedom from the overcrowded harem to once again breath the fresh outside air.

 

Not able to converse with her normally, Lakshmanan stammers and mumbles, “ Get on to the chariot, carefully, Anni (Sister-in-law)

 

A slight rustle is heard then. Urmila comes there totally unexpected, gets on to the chariot and settles next to Sita with a very serene face as though it is already planned. Lakshmanan is slightly perturbed by this unexpected move. Even so, a slight consolation spreads on his face. He need not face the embarrassment of having to travel with Sita alone! Maybe, sensing this delicate feeling, she has joined to help him. When he lifts  his eyes to see her with gratitude, Sita is conversing with her about something. “ Oh.. Urmila? It didn’t even occur to me to bring you along with me! This Lakshmanan also didn’t think of it. Do you know how happy I am to have you with me on this journey. Let it be! You have come along for my sake or because you cannot be without Lakshmanan any more? Tell me the truth…” Smiling mischievously at her, Sita holds her hands like a merry child.

 

Urmila’s reciprocating smile is lifeless and Sita who is in a different world fails to register it.  “Atleast once must look at the flowing Ganga, the waves in it… and bathe in the chill water happily Urmila. But for the royal women like us it can only be a dream.  Because of Kaikeyi athai* (aunt) I had that good fortune. The boons she received may be in the eyes of the world a curse. But it had opened many precious avenues for me. Had we been in the palace, duties as a King would have just swallowed him. Till got caught by Ravana I relished his nearness always, and it wouldn’t have been possible otherwise.”

 

Sita who had kept the flow of conversation realises a missing beat suddenly and is embarrassed by the glances exchanged by Lakshmanan and Urmila.

 

“…. You are really very bad Lakshmana! However close you are to your brother is it right to have been separated from your wife for 14 long years? You didn’t even think of taking leave of her as we hastily made preparations to go to the forest isn’t it? How many times we have discussed it during our stay in the forest? …” She takes the liberty to scold him and turns to Urmila.

“Fourteen years…more than five thousand long days and nights…! How did you endure the separation Urmila? Whereas I was shaken by even the Asokavanam days! But people say that you slept in addition on all those days, his sleep also…! What for the gossip mongers? Only when it comes to oneself one will know the pain.”

 

“People people, people…everywhere everyone is worried only about people. I stayed away from the outside world only to escape its horrid mouth Sita…! I did not come out for any reason – good or bad. That’s why this title…” Urmila answers in dry tones .

 

“Oh leave it Urmila… you don’t detest Lakshmanan for that. Apart from the time he served his elder, his mind was occupied only with thoughts about you. The long nights during which he guarded us with the bow in hand, outside the parnasala,* (thatched living quarters) the copious  tears that rolled down from his eyes had carried fresh memories of you. Then, despite his striving to control himself his lips had mentioned only your name repeatedly. This truth had been told by Guhan who kept him company. Even the rage he felt when he cut the nose off Surpanaka was born out his love for you isn’t it?”

 

Urmila tries to divert the direction the conversation is taking. “Enough…enough…let’s talk about something else, Sita. We both have quite surprisingly come together for the first time. Why don’t you unknot from your memory your experiences connected with the scenes on the way? I will listen. There in the palace we both have no time to entertain such sharing.”

 

As if waiting only for that cue, Sita says, “the scenes and experiences we have encountered at distressing moments when recollected, do become fond caressing memories isn’t it Urmila…” She goes on to unfold the register  of memories and tells about Chitrakootam, Dandakaranyam, Ashokavanam etc.

 

Returning to Ayodya, after the fall of Ravanan, to restart life she had dreamt of travelling through those lands of her past, especially after she conceived. Without the former confusions and burdens and with the newly acquired  calmness and fulfilment she had wanted to visit those places. She had even shared her thirst for it with Rama. It would have been more memorable if he had accompanied her. Though it was not possible, her heart somewhere felt proud of the husband who remembered her craving and fulfilled it at the right time.

 

               The reckoning of her unsullied mind increases the burden in the mind of Lakshmanan. Wishing to lay to rest that burden, when he looks up at Urmila, the emptiness in her eyes and what they hide behind increase his restlessness. Her serious attention to Sita looks to him as a disturbing game.

 

          Yester night’s moments worm through his consciousness.

 

 

———————————

 

Though he had trained himself to listen to the elder brother’s words ever since he started thinking on his own, that day …that moment, Lakshmanan did not have the strength to withstand the shock given by his elder’s words. He stood like a silent sculpted rock in front of his brother, pushing inward with utmost effort, the words that tried to surface like water-balls.

 

“Do you also think that I am doing this with conviction”…Not able to sustain anymore after listening to these tear filled words of Rama, Lakshmanan bursts and splinters.

“ Those who wear the thorny crown cannot always function listening  to one’s gut feelings alone, Lakshmana. There are thousands of guidelines in thousand directions waiting for them. If only Bharathan had continued to bear this burden, I would have had a life where I would listen only to what my mind dictates.

 

Even the few words which Lakshmanan  wants  to utter in retaliation, when had dissolved in the tears of the brother, “will certainly finish your order tomorrow anna”,*( elder brother ) was all he  manages to say before quickly leaving the place to go to his harem. Urmila who understands his troubled self at the time of serving food, combs his hair with her fingers endearingly and asks,”What burden has been shifted by your brother today to your head?”

 

The question though irritated Lakshmanan and a very light anger emanated from within, he was nevertheless surprised to find her perfect reading of his mind. Along with the surprise, a  tiny speck of joy too spread! Despite leaving her within a few days of their marriage and the long absence that ensued like a moat between them, the fact that their hearts had not moved away gave him solace.

 

For a single word of the people, contrary to the dictates of his mind he was under duress to take anni to the forest to leave her there. His brother’s Kingly dharma had manacled his hands and he describes it despairingly to Urmila.

Urmila who for a second remains stupefied recovers her balance as quickly as she has lost it.

“When will your brother understand that the crown is given only to set aside unethical guidelines and to weed out the wrong kinds of justice from being practiced? “

Don’t accuse anna, Urmila.  Only when we perceive it from his position we will be able to envisage  completely what kind of crisis will come from where.”

 

“Will battle ground enemy alone be external enemy? Chasing them alone cannot be a King’s duty isn’t it? Doesn’t he have the duty of dusting age old laws and cast aside the unwanted? Alright. Let it be. I just want to know in which law book it is written that  one can be punished twice for a crime not practiced?”

 

“There is no use in discussing this further Urmila. I am at present gnawed by the worry about how to disclose it tomorrow to anni and how to face her anguish?”

“Which means you are prepared to implement your brother’s orders is it?”

“What else can be done?”

“Just asking for argument’s sake. In future supposing you have to face a similar situation…you are commanded by your brother to kill yourself by getting into Sarayu?”

    “I will certainly do it Urmila”… Urmila moves away from him releasing her hands from his grip as though she has some other work.”

 

————————————-

 

 The chariot was nearing the place where Sita would get off. The mountain ranges and hillocks surrounded the emerald green valleys dotted with palm woven huts. Crystal clear babbling streams, lotus ponds, the chirpy birds winging their freedom, deer running on their slim legs like balls. “This place is so calm and soothing to the eyes. Shall we relax a little here and then go on Lakshmana?” The irony of those words uttered by the unaware Sita pains Lakshmanan all the more…

 

He just answers, “ we will do so”.

 

Skimming the chill brook with her legs and chattering to Urmila continuously, Sita seems to have lost her sense of time even. Lakshmanan goes near them as sunset time approaches.

“ Do you see that deer brother…? Does it not look like the one which came earlier? Don’t be scared. I won’t send you behind it.”

“They need not be  caught hold with force anni. All the deer here will be roaming  around the Seer  Valmiki’s Ashram only.”

“ What…Sage Valmiki is it? Urmila, shall we go and have his Darshana?

“There is no need to go just to have Darshana anni. This is the place where you will be staying henceforth. It is anna’s wish.”

 

Without an iota of any emotion, collecting all his strength together when Lakshmanan finished saying it, he feels his entire life drained. Sita who for less than a second twitched in pain as though a venomous snake had hurt her, collects herself and looks up… “Only, if it had not happened this way I would have been surprised. Now I understand the darkness clouding his face! Do you have his permission to accompany me to show the way to the ashram?

 

Lakshmanan leads her to the sage’s ashram as though dead to the world around. Just before reaching  the entrance…

“There will be no need for your help anymore. You can take leave…” says Sita firmly and turns away.

Turning to go to the chariot with the guilt of a heinous sin weighing heavy on him he remembers Urmila suddenly and returns to take her with him. She had by then reached him.

“you don’t have to wait for me. I have decided to stay here to keep Sita company,” she says and without waiting for his reply, holds Sita’s hand in a firm grip and gets inside the ashram.

As Lakshmanan starts his journey on the chariot, the russet sun manoeuvres to hide himself behind the clouds.

 

 

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