2012 மே 13 தினமணி கதிரில் வெளிவந்த என் 'ஊர்மிளை’ சிறுகதையைப் பேராசிரியரும் எழுத்தாளருமான வி காதம்பரி அவர்கள் ஆங்கிலத்தில் மொழிபெயர்த்துள்ளார்கள். மைஸூரிலுள்ள த்வ்ன்ய லோகாவிலிருந்து வெளிவரும் ’சரசா’[ ] இதழில் அது வெளி வந்திருக்கிறது. காதம்பரி அவர்களுக்கும், ’சரசா’ இதழுக்கும் நன்றி.
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’ஊர்மிளை’ சிறுகதையின் ஆங்கில மொழியாக்கம்
URMILA
(M.A.Susila,
Dinamani Kathir, 13.5.2012)
Translated by
V.Kadambari
The chariot was standing in the porch
of the mansion ready to leave at an hour when it had not dawned yet and
darkness still lingered. Grim faced Lakshmanan was standing next to it waiting
for Sita.
“ As he was in deep sleep, I waited for a while for him to wake up! But
he has not yet woken up…the whole of yesterday he was thoughtful and worried
about something. So I didn’t have the
heart to wake him up forcefully to take leave. What is there …he had bid me
farewell yesterday evening itself isn’t it? Come let’s go…” Sita chirped away
as she advanced.
She was overcome by unalloyed joy
about the freedom from the overcrowded harem to once again breath the fresh
outside air.
Not able to converse with her
normally, Lakshmanan stammers and mumbles, “ Get on to the chariot, carefully, Anni”
(Sister-in-law)
A slight rustle is heard then. Urmila
comes there totally unexpected, gets on to the chariot and settles next to Sita
with a very serene face as though it is already planned. Lakshmanan is slightly
perturbed by this unexpected move. Even so, a slight consolation spreads on his
face. He need not face the embarrassment of having to travel with Sita alone!
Maybe, sensing this delicate feeling, she has joined to help him. When he lifts
his eyes to see her with gratitude, Sita
is conversing with her about something. “ Oh.. Urmila? It didn’t even occur to
me to bring you along with me! This Lakshmanan also didn’t think of it. Do you
know how happy I am to have you with me on this journey. Let it be! You have
come along for my sake or because you cannot be without Lakshmanan any more?
Tell me the truth…” Smiling
mischievously at her, Sita holds her hands like a merry child.
Urmila’s reciprocating smile is
lifeless and Sita who is in a different world fails to register it. “Atleast once must look at the flowing Ganga,
the waves in it… and bathe in the chill water happily Urmila. But for the royal
women like us it can only be a dream. Because of Kaikeyi athai* (aunt) I had
that good fortune. The boons she received may be in the eyes of the world a
curse. But it had opened many precious avenues for me. Had we been in the
palace, duties as a King would have just swallowed him. Till got caught by
Ravana I relished his nearness always, and it wouldn’t have been possible
otherwise.”
Sita who had kept the flow of
conversation realises a missing beat suddenly and is embarrassed by the glances
exchanged by Lakshmanan and Urmila.
“…. You are really very bad
Lakshmana! However close you are to your brother is it right to have been
separated from your wife for 14 long years? You didn’t even think of taking
leave of her as we hastily made preparations to go to the forest isn’t it? How
many times we have discussed it during our stay in the forest? …” She takes the
liberty to scold him and turns to Urmila.
“Fourteen years…more than five
thousand long days and nights…! How did you endure the separation Urmila? Whereas
I was shaken by even the Asokavanam days! But people say that you slept in
addition on all those days, his sleep also…! What for the gossip mongers? Only
when it comes to oneself one will know the pain.”
“People people, people…everywhere
everyone is worried only about people. I stayed away from the outside world
only to escape its horrid mouth Sita…! I did not come out for any reason – good
or bad. That’s why this title…” Urmila answers in dry tones .
“Oh leave it Urmila… you don’t detest
Lakshmanan for that. Apart from the time he served his elder, his mind was
occupied only with thoughts about you. The long nights during which he guarded
us with the bow in hand, outside the parnasala,* (thatched living
quarters) the copious tears that rolled down
from his eyes had carried fresh memories of you. Then, despite his striving to
control himself his lips had mentioned only your name repeatedly. This truth
had been told by Guhan who kept him company. Even the rage he felt when he cut
the nose off Surpanaka was born out his love for you isn’t it?”
Urmila tries to divert the direction
the conversation is taking. “Enough…enough…let’s talk about something else,
Sita. We both have quite surprisingly come together for the first time. Why
don’t you unknot from your memory your experiences connected with the scenes on
the way? I will listen. There in the palace we both have no time to entertain
such sharing.”
As if waiting only for that cue, Sita
says, “the scenes and experiences we have encountered at distressing moments
when recollected, do become fond caressing memories isn’t it Urmila…” She goes
on to unfold the register of memories
and tells about Chitrakootam, Dandakaranyam, Ashokavanam etc.
Returning to Ayodya, after the fall
of Ravanan, to restart life she had dreamt of travelling through those lands of
her past, especially after she conceived. Without the former confusions and
burdens and with the newly acquired
calmness and fulfilment she had wanted to visit those places. She had
even shared her thirst for it with Rama. It would have been more memorable if
he had accompanied her. Though it was not possible, her heart somewhere felt proud
of the husband who remembered her craving and fulfilled it at the right time.
The
reckoning of her unsullied mind increases the burden in the mind of Lakshmanan.
Wishing to lay to rest that burden, when he looks up at Urmila, the emptiness
in her eyes and what they hide behind increase his restlessness. Her serious
attention to Sita looks to him as a disturbing game.
Yester night’s moments worm through his
consciousness.
———————————
Though he had trained himself to
listen to the elder brother’s words ever since he started thinking on his own,
that day …that moment, Lakshmanan did not have the strength to withstand the
shock given by his elder’s words. He stood like a silent sculpted rock in front
of his brother, pushing inward with utmost effort, the words that tried to
surface like water-balls.
“Do you also think that I am doing
this with conviction”…Not able to sustain anymore after listening to these tear
filled words of Rama, Lakshmanan bursts and splinters.
“ Those who wear the thorny crown
cannot always function listening to
one’s gut feelings alone, Lakshmana. There are thousands of guidelines in
thousand directions waiting for them. If only Bharathan had continued to bear
this burden, I would have had a life where I would listen only to what my mind
dictates.
Even the few words which Lakshmanan wants
to utter in retaliation, when had dissolved in the tears of the brother,
“will certainly finish your order tomorrow anna”,*( elder brother ) was
all he manages to say before quickly
leaving the place to go to his harem. Urmila who understands his troubled self
at the time of serving food, combs his hair with her fingers endearingly and
asks,”What burden has been shifted by your brother today to your head?”
The question though irritated
Lakshmanan and a very light anger emanated from within, he was nevertheless
surprised to find her perfect reading of his mind. Along with the surprise,
a tiny speck of joy too spread! Despite
leaving her within a few days of their marriage and the long absence that
ensued like a moat between them, the fact that their hearts had not moved away
gave him solace.
For a single word of the people, contrary
to the dictates of his mind he was under duress to take anni to the
forest to leave her there. His brother’s Kingly dharma had manacled his hands
and he describes it despairingly to Urmila.
Urmila who for a second remains stupefied
recovers her balance as quickly as she has lost it.
“When will your brother understand
that the crown is given only to set aside unethical guidelines and to weed out the
wrong kinds of justice from being practiced? “
Don’t accuse anna, Urmila. Only when we perceive it from his position we
will be able to envisage completely what
kind of crisis will come from where.”
“Will battle ground enemy alone be
external enemy? Chasing them alone cannot be a King’s duty isn’t it? Doesn’t he
have the duty of dusting age old laws and cast aside the unwanted? Alright. Let
it be. I just want to know in which law book it is written that one can be punished twice for a crime not
practiced?”
“There is no use in discussing this
further Urmila. I am at present gnawed by the worry about how to disclose it
tomorrow to anni and how to face her anguish?”
“Which means you are prepared to
implement your brother’s orders is it?”
“What else can be done?”
“Just asking for argument’s sake. In
future supposing you have to face a similar situation…you are commanded by your
brother to kill yourself by getting into Sarayu?”
“I will certainly do it Urmila”… Urmila moves away from him releasing
her hands from his grip as though she has some other work.”
————————————-
The chariot was nearing the place where Sita
would get off. The mountain ranges and hillocks surrounded the emerald green
valleys dotted with palm woven huts. Crystal clear babbling streams, lotus
ponds, the chirpy birds winging their freedom, deer running on their slim legs
like balls. “This place is so calm and soothing to the eyes. Shall we relax a
little here and then go on Lakshmana?” The irony of those words uttered by the
unaware Sita pains Lakshmanan all the more…
He just answers, “ we will do so”.
Skimming the chill brook with her
legs and chattering to Urmila continuously, Sita seems to have lost her sense
of time even. Lakshmanan goes near them as sunset time approaches.
“ Do you see that deer brother…? Does
it not look like the one which came earlier? Don’t be scared. I won’t send you
behind it.”
“They need not be caught hold with force anni. All the
deer here will be roaming around the Seer Valmiki’s Ashram only.”
“ What…Sage Valmiki is it? Urmila,
shall we go and have his Darshana?
“There is no need to go just to have
Darshana anni. This is the place where you will be staying henceforth.
It is anna’s wish.”
Without an iota of any emotion,
collecting all his strength together when Lakshmanan finished saying it, he feels
his entire life drained. Sita who for less than a second twitched in pain as
though a venomous snake had hurt her, collects herself and looks up… “Only, if
it had not happened this way I would have been surprised. Now I understand the
darkness clouding his face! Do you have his permission to accompany me to show
the way to the ashram?
Lakshmanan leads her to the sage’s
ashram as though dead to the world around. Just before reaching the entrance…
“There will be no need for your help
anymore. You can take leave…” says Sita firmly and turns away.
Turning to go to the chariot with the
guilt of a heinous sin weighing heavy on him he remembers Urmila suddenly and
returns to take her with him. She had by then reached him.
“you don’t have to wait for me. I
have decided to stay here to keep Sita company,” she says and without waiting
for his reply, holds Sita’s hand in a firm grip and gets inside the ashram.
As Lakshmanan starts his journey on
the chariot, the russet sun manoeuvres to hide himself behind the clouds.
***********
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